Thursday, May 19, 2011


Gentle readers, your MatchGirl and Boyfriend are no strangers to living with other people. And neither of us is a stranger to living with a significant other. We went into this place, into creating this precious environment with eyes wide open. But that is not to say that there are not challenges.

Currently, your MatchGirl and Boyfriend are working very different schedules. We haven't had a day off together to just hang out in ... over a month. And that's stressful. All the things we want to do to make progress in our apartment, all the things we want to do together, these things aren't being done in the way we had hoped for. We make progress in the apartment, bit by bit, each of us working solo and, hopefully, in a way that complements the others work. Things we want to do together get fit into early weekend mornings, or put on hold until we can make it happen.

This is a challenge of any relationship, whether a couple trying to start a life together or married people with a rugrat or two running about, finding the time to spend together. Time that is real time - pleasurable and enjoyable and that doesn't feel forced. Date night, but without all the pressure.

Boyfriend and I try to have dinner together several nights a week. Even if that means us eating late because one of us will be home late. We try to find that little bit of time in the day to leave our phones across the room and the laptop closed and to sit across the table from one another and just connect. It's not always perfect. Sometimes it's so late that I've gorged on snacks while cooking or waiting for Boyfriend to arrive home from work. Sometimes we are both so tired that neither of us has very much to say. Sometimes the conversation turns to composing a to-do list because there is just so little face-to-face time.

But, in general, gentle readers, I think that this little bit of time (nearly) every day, that we can spend together, that we can connect in person, over some home-cooked food, certainly helps us stay grounded in our relationship. Pay attention to the little things helps us keep an eye on the big picture. And where we're going as we build this life together.